


ink stains (on the creases of my heart)

by vulcanistics



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Dictionary Format, F/M, Gen, M/M, Original Character(s), Sebis friendship, au pairs, i'll add more tags as and when they become more relevant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 21:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1662383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcanistics/pseuds/vulcanistics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A boy with a heart too big and a love for words goes to the country across the water and somewhere along the way, he falls in love with it. </p><p>(also known as that au in which Sebastian goes to the UK as an au pair.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so things to know before you start reading. 
> 
> \- the style of this fic is inspired by 'the lover's dictionary' by david levithan and the dictionary of obscure sorrows. the definitions of the words i've used are obviously mine.  
> \- slow build fic that is highly seb-centric.   
> \- i don't know how regular i will be able to be with postings but there will be 26 chapters of varying lengths and i may add an epilogue.  
> \- also, i feel like i have a lot more to say but i'm not really sure what to say, so if you guys have any questions, please feel free to ask.
> 
> and finally, a few dedications ♥  
>  
> 
> \- [bv](http://baronessvettel.tumblr.com/), this fic was supposed to be your last year's birthday gift. why don't we just consider it as an early gift this year? XD  
> -[ farrah](http://moderncouchpotato.tumblr.com/), who has been wonderful and  the absolute best. thank you so much for everything; you've discussed fic ideas with me, listened to me rant, read drafts of this fic and always told me to ' _write_ '. i finally got round to posting this and that's because of you. this is for you.  
> \- [gabi](http://daftm0nk.tumblr.com/), who is nothing short of incredible and who i love to talking to. you've changed the way i look at things, and your fics and the way you write has had a profound impact on me. i've greatly enjoyed talking to you. thank you.
> 
>  
> 
> **disclaimer: this is pure fiction dealing with fictional representations of real people. none of the events described here happened.**

## A.

**abroad.**

_n._ a place that isn’t home - but what is home anyway? 

> Sebastian Vettel arrives in London armed with a weary smile, a worn out denim backpack, three suitcases of varying sizes and a slip of paper clutched in his hand. An address to a home in Stevenage is scribbled on it. He doesn’t know it yet but this country with all its busy people, rich culture and vibrancy will soon seep into his very being.  
>  This kingdom across the water from Germany won’t be a place of mystery and confusion for very long. It won’t be abroad and maybe, one day, it might even become home.

 

 **aisling.** _irish._

 _n._ a dream or a vision that weaves its magic as you sleep oblivious to what is slowly changing within you.

> There’s a small girl sleeping in her mother’s arms and Seb pauses to look at them. She shifts a little bit and he’s reminded of all his fleeting dreams and hopes. Those whimsical and magical dreams that have somehow evolved into a desire to escape reality and normality.

 

**anxiety.**

_n._ a feeling of nervousness and confusion that settles beneath your skin and gnaws at your bones, threatening to spill out.

> Sebastian sits in silence in the taxi, watching the scene change from tall buildings to quaint neighbourhoods and then to busy towns and to buzzing villages. It’s a picture book that changes and evolves and transforms and soon he finds himself standing outside a small house. He can hear the laughter from within and the anxiety that had been building up threatens to overwhelm him. The taxi driver looks at him curiously, perhaps he can sense the turmoil of emotions within the eighteen-year-old German.
> 
> The door opens suddenly and Sebastian finds himself staring at a middle-aged woman smiling at him pleasantly. His mind supplies him with her name, Linda Hamilton.

 

**aplomb.**

_n._ a mask of self-confidence that you wear when you feel anything but self-confident.

> Sebastian smiles and shakes Linda’s hand,
> 
> “Good evening. I apologise for my late arrival, the flight was delayed. I’m Sebastian.”
> 
> “Aren’t you polite? Hello Sebastian, I’m Linda.”
> 
> A boy who looks a few years older than Seb appears behind her and nods his head in greeting. The company had given him information about the family he would be living with. This boy is Lewis Hamilton, stepson of Linda.

 

**audacity**

_n._ to step out of the confines of physical, social and metaphysical boundaries and to boldly go forth into the unknown.

> Sebastian shakes hands with everybody in the Hamilton household. Lewis, Nicolas, Anthony and Linda. He’ll be living with this family and working for them but he finds that he likes them already. The anxiety slows disappears as they ask him about himself. He tells them about his family and his life back in Heppenheim. Taking a break from studies to go to another county to work as an au pair is not a common occurrence. He doesn’t tell them about the disapproval and scorn and disappointment and concern that his decision caused. He doesn't have to.
> 
> Sebastian is taken aback when later in the night, Lewis glances at him and says,
> 
> “You’re brave, kid.”
> 
> He thinks about those words until he falls asleep.

 

 **auricomous.** _latin._

 _adj._ hair that is the colour of golden woven from hay.

> “Once upon a time there was golden-haired boy who left his kingdom -”
> 
> Nicolas interrupts Sebastian’s narration with a pout,
> 
> “Why are you telling me fairytales? I’m too old for them.”
> 
> Sebastian laughs and pats him on the head,
> 
> “No one is too old for a fairytale.”
> 
> But he doesn’t continue the story when he sees the sleep in the eleven-year-old’s eyes.
> 
> “Good night Nicolas.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't think i'll complete this fic but i just wanted to post whatever i have. i had a few more words for 'b' but i just couldn't write for it. anyway, here's 'b'.

## B.

**belligerent.**

_adj._ it’s brittle ice waiting to crack - already cracked

 

> He’s reading his dog-eared copy of  ‘Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close’ by Jonathan Safran Foer that his eldest sister, Stephanie gave to him the day he turned sixteen. There’s something about Oskar’s voice, something about the little boy that captures his heart everytime he reads the book. It’s now 2010 - he’s still in love with the book. Sebastian glances up from his book when he hears someone storm up the stairs and slam a door. He’s been with this family long enough to know who exactly that is.
> 
> He knocks on Lewis’ door and gets a ‘fuck off’ in reply. Lewis is volatile, passionate about his interests, argumentative and competitive but, he’s a good guy who tends to get stuck in the wrong situations. Nicolas has told Sebastian all about the various fights and arguments Lewis has got into over the years.
> 
> He knocks again, “Let me in.”
> 
> There’s no response from inside but Seb can hear Lewis shuffling about and grumbling. He sits cross-legged outside Lewis’ bedroom and waits. Five minutes later, he sits next to Lewis on the bed and listens to Lewis rant.

 

 **biisi.** _finnish._

 _n._ music, lyrics and rhythm forming a pattern, a song 

> Sebastian stops washing the dishes when he realises the Hamilton brothers are watching him curiously.
> 
> He turns around so that he can look at them,“What?”
> 
> He hasn’t done something wrong, has he? What could he have possibly done wrong while washing dishes? Nicolas tilts his head and Sebastian knows that look all too well, he’s seen it on his brother, Fabian and now he’s seeing it on Nicolas. A question was coming his way.
> 
> “What were you humming just now?”
> 
> His fingers are trembling as he curls his fists by his side. He doesn’t want to remembers. He remembers
> 
> He’s looking at the Hamilton brothers but he can’t see them. He’s somewhere else. He remembers quiet evenings in the library and book reading sessions and long conversations. He remembers silent laughter and solemn eyes. He remembers a different culture (the lifestyle, the society, the relationships, the language, the music) Sebastian remembers a librarian; a Finn who was bigger than the town he worked in, a man who deserved so much more. A man who deserved more than some skinny, bright-eyed boy.
> 
> He’s back in London and there are two boys looking at him, worry written on their faces. He can feel the tears burning his eyes. He isn’t going to cry, not now at least.
> 
> “It’s a Finnish folk song. A friend of mine taught it to me.”
> 
> “It’s nice.”
> 
> Seb is glad they don’t pursue the topic further and when he cries into his pillow at night, he thinks of Kimi.

 

**blue.**

_adj._ it is the sky with no clouds, the rolling sea, a sapphire resting silent, and a feeling of melancholy

> "You have nice eyes. They’re a strange type of blue; quiet but bright."
> 
> Quiet but bright. Sebastian raises an eyebrow at Nicolas, “What makes you say that?”
> 
> The boy shrugs and looks down at his shoes but doesn’t let go of Sebastian’ s hand,
> 
> “Today, our teacher told us to go home and compliment everybody in our family.”
> 
> Seb feels warmth course through him and he lets go of Nicolas’ hand to pull him in for a hug. Family.
> 
> “Thank you Nico. You have no idea how much it means to me. You’re one of the nicest kids I know.”
> 
> A smile lights up Nico’s face and Seb knows how delighted Nico is, he can see the visible happiness. He’s never really thought about it but he understands now what a compliment can do. They continue their walk home in silence.
> 
> That night, Seb and Lewis are in Seb’s room, talking through the night. It’s a pattern they’ve slowly fallen into. Some nights, Lewis will be pouring over his books, going over his notes or completing his assignments and Seb will lie on his bed and read. Some nights, he’ll talk and disturb Lewis but Lewis doesn’t really mind, he likes the company.  That night, Lewis is free and so the two of them are sitting cross-legged on the bed.
> 
> Lewis smiles more to himself than to Seb as he says,
> 
> “You know, Nicolas told me I’m a good brother. Do you think I’m a good brother?”
> 
> The question surprises Sebastian and he wants to say that he’s the last person Lewis should be asking because he’s left his family, his parents, his sisters and his baby brother back in Germany; he can’t say what a good brother is all he knows is that he isn’t one of those good brothers. But instead he nods and says,
> 
> “Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'd love to hear from you guys :)


End file.
